Hey, Hello, Hi!

Happy last day of August, friends!! : ) 

This August has been an adjustment period for me - I've been trying to get used to waking up at four in the morning so I can get to school on time. It has been a real struggle to stay alert enough for my seven-thirty AM classes, and to get around my college campus without getting horribly lost. Lots of things are continuing to change as I to learn to be independent in a huge new world where things are incredibly different. 

Time management has always been my number one issue. I've never been that girl who can juggle a million tasks at once, and be so focused that I can get everything done. I think it's because I don't like being forced into creating something. My work only comes out good when I'm happy to do that work. 

I've been finding it difficult to keep myself inspired, to keep finding something to write about or take photos of. During my long, five-month summer, I'll admit I was mostly at home or with friends, doing nothing particularly productive. I had a short stint doing some apprentice work in an advertising agency as I'm hoping to major in PR & Advertising. I gained lots of valuable insights during that time, but I was itching to do something more. I waited and waited for opportunities to come, but I didn't go looking for them. And I think that's why I've been in such a stagnant phase. 

So, in my resolve to shake off this uninspired and humdrum state I've been going through, I decided to challenge myself and sign up for a bunch of school organizations. They scare me, because being part of things means having more responsibilities, apart from the pressures of being a college freshie.  But I'm gonna do my best, guys. Wish me lots of luck this year! 

To mom - thanks for all the sacrifices you make for me. I don't know what I would do without you. Thanks for waking up even earlier than I do just to prepare my baon and help me get ready for the day, even if I know it's difficult. I love you! We're gonna achieve all our goals, I promise.

♡♡♡ Bianca

Starting Over

Hello! I'm back. And hopefully, for good this time. I have been missing in action on the blog for most of the summer. I wrote in a post earlier that the summer heat was difficult for me, and I'm just so glad that it's finally over! Having Parkinson's Disease, my body is always in motion. From fine hand tremors to bouts of whole body shaking, I'm constantly moving and breaking into a sweat, so the escalating temperatures were just too much for me to bear. I lost my appetite to eat, and  had little energy to do anything. I reserved my time for family, house chores (because they need to get done even if you don't want to) and for taking care of myself. It took a lot for someone to coax me to get out of the house. It was just too much trouble for me to get ready and dress up.

I was thankful when the heat started letting up in June. I had so many plans and a long to-do list that I put on hold and was eager to get a move on. I was already getting stressed and frustrated because I wanted to accomplish so many things. But, by some twist of fate, a much needed house repair which included a re-piping of our water lines (sigh and double sigh) needed my attention and supervision. Just looking at the chaos of construction materials, the diggings around the house, the dust and the whole mess of it all just made me sick all over again. Everyday, I would summon positive thoughts to reassure myself that after the repairs were done, everything will be beautiful and in order. At the tail end of all this, my sister, who helps take care of me and who is in charge of preparing our meals, was leaving for a two week trip abroad, so I had to prepare myself physically and mentally to manage the household alone.

And, yes, finally, all is quiet and back to normal in the house again, except for some bit of tidying up in the living room, which I will get to as soon as I catch my breath. Bianca's well into her first two weeks as a college freshman, and in between house repairs and what seemed liked a mad dash to get her ready with everything she needed for school, I had no time to feel sentimental that my one and only child was beginning what will be the last chapter in her life as a student. More on that soon.

Bianca on her first day in grade school. Where did time go?

I must admit that it took some time to get my groove back into blogging and writing again. It's always a challenge whenever you stop and re-start something. But although I was away from the blog these past months, my mind was constantly composing sentences and paragraphs for stories I wanted to share. I am very proud of myself that I was able to get through this very long hot summer, and more importantly, that I managed not to set the house on fire while the sister was away! It might seem trivial, but for someone who has limited mobility and compromised cognitive functions, it's an accomplishment. I always say that I started this blog as a journal for Bianca and I to look back on. It is and will always be our happy place and I'm pretty sure I will be glad that I wrote this post when I come across it years from now.

Dear Bianca,

Thank you for taking good care of me this summer. I know it was hard sometimes because I was short tempered due to stress. I will always be grateful for your patience and kindness. I love you!

We might not have accomplished our goal to get to London for your 17th birthday. It seemed like we were getting closer and then suddenly further from our dream. But you know I never give up. We shouldn't give up. I am positive that it will all happen in good time.....because all good things take time.

Always, 

Mama